The Replacement

It's now final: I'm an officially designated "Replacement Athlete" in women's three meter and women's three meter synchro. I was the first runner up in two events. If any of the people ahead of me get injured, sick, or decide, spur of the moment, to take August off and go on vacation to Bali, I'll still go to Beijing.
But the chances of that happening are sort of negatory, so for now I'm resigning myself to the fact that I was... as they say... so close, yet oh so far away. I'm still training, just in case, but the pool's just not the same right now.
Life has been pretty crazy since I got back from Knoxville on Monday. I jokingly told Nancilea that I needed a big white board so I could make a flow chart, or maybe a bubble brainstorm of the rest of my life, but that woudl actually probably be pretty helpful. The questions are big: Keep diving, or no? If yes, take a break or no? If no, what then? If yes, what then? Where? With who? what else?
Yes, life is crazy. The one thing I do know is that I'm moving on Saturday (quick turnarounds, all around!) and I've still got a lot of packing to do. The rest of my future can start when I'm safely back in California.