Success Comes in Cans...

(Not cannots!)

I got back from Indianapolis last night, five hours later than I was scheduled to arrive (I'm not sure how a direct flight from Indy to Houston with lovely weather at both ends managed to go so wrong... Probably a butterfly flapped its wings in Newark, or something.)

It was a long ending to a long week, lets put it that way. I competed in the prelims and semifinals of Olympic Trials on Thursday afternoon and evening. There were a few good dives, but I just kept second guessing myself. I ended the competition on Thursday in 10th place, which was disappointing. I had worked hard for this. I could dive a lot better, and I knew it!

I did some soul-searching on Thursday night, and realized a few things:

My mind was pretty far from where it should have been. I've had a major setback in the last few months - I was out for most of February and all of March with a back injury, and while the physical effects are now gone, I allowed the missed training to take a big bite out of my confidence. Confidence is a funny thing - I won the last 4 competitions I competed in before I hurt myself. I won one and three meter at NCAA Zones in March of 2007. I won one and three meter at NCAA's in March of 2007. I won three meter at Nationals in August of 2007. I won three meter at the World Cup Selection camp in January of 2008. I went to World Cup in February, hurt myself, and couldn't compete. I wasn't back doing my dives yet in time for US Nationals in April. And then I arrived in Indianapolis, hoping to win but secretly doubting myself. Not a good combination.

Friday morning, I had the best practice I'd had since before I hurt myself. Things that I had struggled with the day before were easy, and I was clear and confident with what I was doing. It felt like a reminder - this is you. this is what you're capable of. Saturday morning's practice was also great, and Saturday's competition was a lot better than either round on Thursday. Saturday just wasn't enough to get me out of the hole I'd dug for myself.

I placed 8th at Olympic Trials. Now, 8th at Olympic Trials is great, but when you go in hoping to win, 8th is about eighty times less cool. The winner (And nearly official member of the 2008 US Olympic Team) was Christina Loukas.

Luckily, I have one more chance. I'm going to Knoxville for the US Olympic Team selection camp on Friday, and competing there next week. I'll compete with my synchronized diving partner, Nancilea, to earn a spot in the synchronized three-meter event, and hopefully I'll also be invited to compete three meter for a chance at the second individual spot. My Olympic Journey definitely isn't over yet!

I've got some work to do this week. I need to completely banish all the negatives -- all the what-if's and the I-don't-knows -- and really just go for it. The competition will be stiff, but I can do these dives great. It all comes down to trusting the coaching and the training I've had over the last few years and believing in my abilities.